` Contradicting is a way to be persistent =] ..

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I am back after this long and abominable routine.. It's rather poignant and tedious; why are you treating me like this.. I sincerely request you stay out of my life if you wanna empathy me.. Please spare me a thought.. It hurts deep down in my heart when you said 'you didn't love me before just like the way I am doing'. Yeah I ask for break up initially cause seriously we can't develop any love through. Skeptical around my mind asking whether are you serious etc.. I'm sorry that I was working whole day without accompanying you. However everyday, I will took the initiate to text you in the morning and while I was free. I know it's holiday for you now and hope to see you enjoy yourself after O's. You woke up daily at 2pm+ and sleep so late. Whole day at home when you're free can't you text me? I know most of the time I reply you late cause I really can't carry my phone with me during work.. I just sneak in carefully. For sure I will text you after my work, hoping to see your message after my work. Sigh, you didn't.. Can't you text me again if I haven't reply? I can't sense that you miss me really.. Is it you too busy or what? You don't like me to smoke, fine then I'll quit as soon as possible and I fulfilled your wish. My friend and I wanted to pierce septum, I seek your permission. You don't like piercing, okay I don't pierce. You said you will get jealous when I play audition with girls. I don't mind not playing with them really.. You asked me to be more confident so you will feel secure, I am trying hard.. You asked me to do something that you will feel my love for you. Okay I decided to meet you, thought that it will be more realistic. Ain't we discussing about it happily that time? We planned it nicely le didn't we? Why suddenly say you don't feel like meeting me le.. Cause you think you can't match me etc? Does looks matter a lot? The very first day of apprentice, I requested for a day leave on 9th December to meet my sweetheart. Thought it would be official and this is what I can do for that time.. Haha now you said you just like my actions.. Naive thoughts of mine uhh... Tears roll down somehow whenever I recall about it. I can't believe this is what I've received. Now you thinking of patching up with me? But why? Why is it so since you don't even have a stinge of love in me? You said I am always the one giving up this relationship.. Do you reflect upon yourself first why I chose to break? In such dilemma, I kept asking myself am I confirm with my answer.. We've been a time together persevering each quarrels, laughter's and moments. You thought that if I choose to hold on to this relationship, we will gain love by time? I didn't dare to choose to try.. I didn't dare to use my heart feeling to risk on.. Don't you feel relief after I mention 'break'? Or you just want to tie me with you for just habits or loneliness? I got lotsa unfamiliar doubts running wild... why why why?? Is this the way you treat your ex before? Obfuscated within it now, don't even love me but refuse to let go me. You still said 'I love you'. just wanna make me happy so I won't feel isolated? Is this three words came out from your mouth easily even if you don't love him? I know you seldom say that but at least you said it. Can you stop harassing me please.. Don't need you to show me empathy thanks.. I'm fragile in this plight of time..

我很想愛她... T________________T

10:51:00 PM